Nurses Hangover
It’s past midnight and I should be in bed because I’m exhausted. I’m more than half way through a bottle of wine and I’m finishing it before I go to bed so I’ll sleep until morning. Today at work got to me in a way I haven’t been in a while, when you’ve been a nurse as long as me you get a little hardened to life’s hardships and problems. It’s necessary that you get that way or you would never survive. So today got me bad it’s like I was a student, a new grad, crying my eyes out sad and upset.I had a 29 year old cancer patient; he has been through rounds of chemotherapy, tests, procedures and it’s clear it’s a losing battle. He’s in ICU because his heart rate is 180 and he’s febrile and septic. We are in Interventional Radiology to check the patency of a nephrostomy tube and also in ultrasound to do some ultrasound guided biopsies of nodules in his groin. We’ve been off the unit for hours. They need him prone. It hurts to move. He’s crying and saying he’s done he’s had enough because he knows he’s not going to make it anyway.
So later he says Dora I need to talk to someone. Tell me I can take it. I know when they’re saying Hospice it means that’s it. We spend the next 3 hours talking, him crying, me crying, both of us crying. It put me so far behind I didn’t get home until all hours; I’m off tomorrow, thank God. My heart is heavy tonight, we agreed that all that matters is the here and now, doing the best we can now because that’s all we have, today was all that counted because you never know what will happen tomorrow. Except I know I’ll have a hangover :(
Dora Meulman
7 comments:
Dora, This beautiful and touching. I am glad there are nurses like you.
@srini2000
God bless you Dora... this display of compassion is why you are such a great person & a tribute to your nursing profession.. cheers to you & may God bless the cancer patient!
:( Dora this one made me tear up!How sad...It's great to know there are nurses like you who will take the time to listen to her patients and allow them to vent. I can't imagine how scare he has to be. He's so lucky to have you as his nurse. This made me think about the boy in London that was in the room with Derrick horrified about his surgery and would tell us that but not talk to his family about it.I'm sure your patient knows you care and that is an amazing thing! I hope there is a miracle and you get to see him feel better.
I hope your hangover isn't too bad today!
Oh Dora, that is so sad. Fair play to you for doing the job that you do. Val
Dora, all I do know about this beautiful story is that you were his angel last night. I will be thinking of him and his family. Also, your comforting words were so spot on...right now is all any of us should be focused on. Thank you for the beautiful reminder. The here and now of the wine will be worth the small hangover tomorrow.
Dora,As a nurse you get to be part of peoples' lives when their at their lowest ebb. This is without a doubt both a privilage and a challenge. The hospital enviorment can be coldly clinical, fast moving and sometimes disconnected from reality. Having someone who shows understanding and empathy can make all the difference. Keep up the good work.The frontline needs staff that care!
Thank you for your comments and feedback. This blog is an attempt to share my lifes experiences.
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