Sarah RIP

Yesterday my daughter Kerry put a message on my facebook wall, “today it is 8 years since Sarah’s death I can’t believe it has been that long. I still think about her a lot…” I was immediately transported back and overcome with terrible grief.

Sarah was one of Kerry’s best friends since she was 5 years old. They went to school together at St Joseph’s Convent in Reading Berks. England. We had lived in Reading for 9 years but had decided to move back to the US at the end of the school year.

Sarah had just had her 14th birthday she was a difficult child at times deep and impulsive. Her mother Jackie was a single Mom raising 4 kids since her husband had died of cancer. She was strict on Sarah who was her eldest child, she was grounded a lot it seemed to me for silly things that Kerry did all the time. It was none of my business so I said nothing.

Kerry was on a school trip to Spain. Sarah had not gone on the trip I’m not sure if it was because of the expense or that she was grounded for some silly thing she had done. It was a Saturday morning Sarah wanted to go in to Reading but Jackie wouldn’t allow her to go. She calmly ate breakfast went upstairs and wrote suicide notes to a few friends. Then she took all her mother’s pain meds that were in the bathroom. Her 7 year old sister found her some time later having a seizure and they called 911. She spent the next 5 days in ICU before she died.

The next few days are some of the saddest days of my life. When Kerry returned from Spain she was distraught. She felt terrible guilt for not being there for Sarah. She had threatened to commit suicide but no one believed her. Kerry was going to leave her and move to the States. Her suicide notes were full of pain and loneliness. I sat for hours on end with Jackie; strong Scottish women now overcome with the worst kind of pain and guilt. Reading those notes after the police allowed us to have them was pure torture.

Her funeral at the Catholic Church in Reading was so terribly sad. Her young siblings and mother sat up in front. Her white coffin and all her 14 year old classmates crying is a sight burned in my brain. There was not a dry eye in the packed out church.

The next few weeks were a blur, I worried constantly about how Kerry was feeling if she was forgiving herself for abandoning her friend. Her entire school was in shock and our last few weeks in England were just an endless sadness. I was glad when the time came to leave because it was like starting over for Kerry. She made new friends easily and settled in to life in the US.

Every year we remember 14 year old Sarah Gormon, gone but not forgotten. She would be 22 now. RIP lovely Sarah you could never have known how much you were loved or how you would break our hearts.

Dora Meulman

Lent

Yesterday Kerry’s friend Alden asked me on Twitter “are you giving up anything for lent this year?” I replied no I haven’t given up anything in years. Now I’m thinking why not. I think it’s good to discipline yourself occasionally and Lent gives us that opportunity.

When I was a child in Ireland it was expected and usually I’d give up candy, we call it “sweets”. I went to a Catholic girls school and the Nuns would be prepping us for weeks, now girls I hope you’re giving some thought as to what you’ll be giving up for Lent. The state of our souls was the most important thing to them; I think it got them brownie points from St Peter. On Pancake Tuesday every girl would be asked in turn around the class what they were giving up for Lent… Dora sweets Sister; Mary cakes Sister; Noreen sweets Sister; and it would be noted.  

Ash Wednesday would arrive and we’d all be marched to Mass. During the Mass everyone would line up like when you go to communion and the priest would put a cross shape using ash on everyone’s forehead.” Ashes to ashes and dust to dust”. That would have to stay there all day no washing it off.

Now there was no opting out of any of this. No notes from parents saying little Dora doesn’t have to go to Mass. That would never happen, the Nun’s ruled sometimes harshly, and the Priest was their boss. His only boss was the Pope, then Jesus and the Holy Spirit. That was how it was the Church ruled everything.

Later as I got older for Lent I’d give up alcohol, or movies or whatever I enjoyed, the point being it had to be a hardship. I haven’t thought about Lent for many years the Nuns would be horrified.  I’d currently like to give up work for six weeks but that wouldn’t count if you get my drift. The only thing I would miss and therefore qualify is wine.

I’m a weak women I’d need a few get out of jail cards. I have my BUNCO ladies that I’m hosting on Paddies day can’t do that without wine. I have Margaret’s bridal shower again can’t do that without wine. Plus I need one more as a backup. So here it is my challenge to you and me. Tell me what you’re giving up for Lent; you get to have 3 passes or excuses. On those days you’ll be allowed to break your fast. Are you in? I need encouragement to stop the DT’s J

Dora Meulman

Do no harm

I have been a nurse for many years and one could say I’ve been around the block a few times. I still love my job and I feel strongly that most of us who work at the bedside taking care of the sick are here for the right reason. I believe most Doctors think they’re doing a good job. Certainly all of our ICU Physicians in the Medical Intensive Care that I work in are wonderful dedicated and caring. Yet something is not right!

The numbers of Americans addicted to Prescription drugs has skyrocketed. Worse than that is the needless and inefficient use of medications.  We are poisoning people instead of helping them. We are killing not curing them. The Pharmaceutical Industry keeps churning out growing numbers of drugs. They advertising their medications on TV and even with the long lists of side effects people take these poisons. They’re advised to ‘ask your physician if this medication is right for you’. Primary Physicians seem to prescribe vast numbers of unnecessary drugs to hapless patients who will take anything they are told to take.

Why is this happening and who benefits?  No need to answer that was a rhetorical question. It’s very clear to all but the people who are suffering the consequences i.e. the patients. I have admitted people with some of the newer more expensive drugs even though one has to wonder if the old and proven drug wouldn’t have been a better choice. Pharmaceutical companies are making money and they line the pockets of Physicians who feel they are entitled to the kickbacks. It’s a very bad thing.

I had a patient recently admitted with malignant hypertension. She had a long medical history and a lengthy list of medications she takes every day. She admits she takes 2 mgs Ativan orally 3 times a day. Her urine drug screen confirms this. Yet that Ativan was not on her Med Rec and so it was not being given. Her admitting doctor says her hypertension is because she’s noncompliant with her medications.  I know that’s not the reason we have her on a Nipride drip and it’s obvious she’s in withdrawal. Where does she get the Ativan? She says the express clinics. No records of Ativan that’s not right.     

I see patients with Medication Reconciliation forms that are pages long. It’s out of control. We have to step back from all the pills and give patients other choices to get their health and lives under control. There is not a pill for every aliment, we need to educate and motivate our patients to healthier choices. We have to remember to ‘do no harm’. 

Dora Meulman  

Be nice please...Pretty please

You’ve heard the old saying one rotten apple can spoil the barrel; well the same is true with people. There is nothing worse than having to spend time or be around someone who is always whining and complaining. Nothing is ever good enough their glass is not only half empty it’s dry. Their stories or problems are the only ones they are interested in. They monopolize the conversation and their negative vibe brings everyone down, it’s all about them all the time. This is especially true in the workplace they can make a happy place a misery just by being there.

For a manager these people are a nightmare, they need to be encouraged to move on as quickly as possible before their poison spreads and infiltrates the rest of the staff.  Ignore them and before you know it you’ll have a mutiny on your hands. That’s because emotions are contagious. Badness can spread like a wild fire and the only way to douse it is to build a firewall.

In nursing we unfortunately see this person regularly. They have the power to ruin your lunch break if they happen to be present. It’s enough to give you indigestion and the only solution is to loose oneself on the web and tune them out. Making you antisocial but that’s better than crazy. I could feel sorry for them if I didn’t dislike them so much.

Is life really that bad? When you start your day do you intentionally think I will make all around me miserable today. Do you know you’re a sour tart or do you think that your ranting is a normal way to behave? I think it’s a habit, a rotten nasty habit that you’ve allowed to get out of hand because no one has had the balls to tell you to stop. It’s an attitude and it’s less stressful and much healthier to have a good attitude than a bad one. So be nice please...Pretty please.

Dora Meulman

Denial

Denial is a psychological defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality. We frequently see patients in denial about their health problems. Just recently we had a patient in his fifties who ignored his sore toe. By the time he sought medical attention the toe was gangrenous and he ended up with a below the knee amputation. Post-surgery he became depressed and refused to follow Medical advice. This led to further problems and it was decided he could not go to rehab so he was sent to a nursing home to recover. He was at the nursing home exactly one week when he developed pneumonia and was admitted to the hospital in Septic Shock. That's when I first met him in ICU.
When a patient is first admitted to ICU we attach them to the monitors, we then assess them and they're seen by their admitting doctor. We receive orders to get blood cultures and other labs, start IV's, and give the medicines that have been ordered by their doctor. It's a very busy hectic time especially if the patient is very sick like this gentleman was. As nurses we are responsible for the admitting paperwork. This is a tedious task, none of us like it but it has to be done. So once the patient is settled we will generally get the family to assist us with this. This patient was sedated on a ventilator, he looked horrendous far older than his actual age. His 2 daughters in their mid to late twenties came into the unit. They both stood at the end of his bed in a state of shock. The younger one put both hands to her face took a big gasp and whispered Oh Daddy...she then bowed her head and sobbed. The older one trying to be strong bit her lip. They were a sad sight to see. I'm a seasoned ICU nurse but sometimes it just hits you like a bat. It was all I could do not to cry.
Refusing to admit the truth or reality of something unpleasant is amazingly common it's almost a defense mechanism for some. You see people with advanced cancers they admit they haven't felt well for a while, they've worried they might have cancer and yet have not seen a doctor. Often they haven't spoken to family members about it. It's like they think if I don't talk about this it will go away or get better on its own. The ulcer stinks to high heaven and they put on perfume or cologne to hide the stench. They use peroxide and an assortment of creams and portions and it continues to get worse. After a while they're too embarrassed to go see a doctor because they fear their reaction at letting it go so long. They don't want to be thought a fool. They live in denial a negation in logic.

Dora Meulman

Your Voice

Studies show that HOW we say things is four times more powerful than WHAT we say.

7% is what we say

38% is how we say it

55% is non-verbal

I am blessed with a unique voice. People know me by my voice it is a big part of who and what I am. My voice has evolved and been remade many times over the years. I was born in Cork City Ireland. The Cork accent is lilting up and down melodic and full of colloquiums. It's easy on the ear but difficult for non Corkonians to understand. My parents, no correction my Mother and Grandmother enrolled me in singing drama and elocution classes. They did not want me to sound ‘common’. I went to school in London and returned in 94 spending a total of 14 years in England. This changed the tone and pitch and made me aware of the power of the voice. Add on the Americanization and I have the voice I have today.

Now I can change this voice at will and do regularly depending on who I’m talking to. When I’m in Ireland you’d never think I left her shores. At home and with friends I have my conversational voice. It’s Americanized Irish and has been strongly influenced by my husband Jeff who’s from Michigan.  I turn on the English influence if I want to sound smart or posh. When I teach my fitness classes I tend to speak slower, and use fewer words, mixed with non-verbal cues. I think that works best for me. I would say people wouldn’t need to see me to know who was teaching. 

Margaret Thatcher took elocution lessons for years and managed to lower her pitch and mellow her accent. She knew the importance of her voice if she wanted to have authority among men. I'd say it worked pretty well for her

BODYPUMP is a static program like teaching a class of students or doing a power point presentation. The most powerful tool we have to create contrast is our voice. How we say things is more important than what we say. I could tell you that you smell and your pants are on fire with a smile on my face and a high pitched voice. Chances are you would smile back at me because you didn’t hear the words but the intonation. Every 3 months we launch the new programs for Les Mills at the YMCA. These Kickoffs are great fun and highly anticipated by the members. Some of today’s music can be offensive to members. I usually get to teach these tracks because people don’t hear the offensive lyrics or language when I teach unless I want them to.   

I have five voices when I teach to match the highs and lows of the material or music.

1: CONVERSATIONAL- In the low parts, talking with the class. It’s friendly and easy on the ear. It’s natural but would be boring if that was all I used.

2: BUILD - To create anticipation and excitement and let the class know they need to listen.

3: BIG – To power and motivate.

4: INTENSE – A strong challenging focused voice that’s success and results oriented but not aggressive. It’s inclusive. Think ‘you can do it’ rather than ‘just do it’

5: SILENCE - Let the music or slide speak. You say it best when you say nothing, hold the silence, pause and breath. Most of us spend too much time talking about nothing. Then when you talk, talk to the class.

Have you ever gone to a class or presentation and found yourself bored to death. Not with the material but the presenter. There just isn’t enough coffee to save you from this person. They know all the material and you want to listen and learn. The power point is brilliant and yet it’s dull and you’re miserable. I guarantee you that the presenter spent long hours learning the material and putting the slides together but didn’t record themselves to hear how they sound to other ears. It’s something everyone who is going to stand in front of a class should do. Your voice won’t sound like you think it does. It can be shocking but it will make you better. Teaching and presenting is a Performance Art it takes practice and more practice to Master the powerful tool of your Voice.

Dora Meulman

Preceptor

Nursing is a very rewarding job and I love it but it can also be very stressful. This is especially true when you are a new nurse. The responsibility of taking care of someone very sick can keep you up at night. You got all the information in nursing school and now here you are, an RN and sick people need you to take care of them. As an experienced critical care RN I am frequently preceptor to new nurses on our unit. My job is to help them become familiar and comfortable on the unit. They spend 6 or more weeks with me before I hand them over to another nurse on the night shift and then when they are ready they are set free to work alone. During this time we usually become close. The older experienced nurses become friends, the young ones become like foster children. I'm fiercely protective of all of them, the bond is set forever and I really enjoy it.
The first few days of orientation we are getting to know each other. I introduce them to other staff members and try and make them comfortable in the unit. We usually take a few tours around the hospital which is a huge place to try and remember. If they are young inexperienced nurses they are like deer in the head lights at this stage, but with encouragement it doesn't take them long to settle in. I get them familiar with the documentation and get them to master this first. We are very lucky in our unit to have a large staff of attending physicians who love to teach and are very inclusive of new employee's. There is a lot to learn but everyone pitches in and we try to have fun.
As the weeks pass I allow them to take more responsibility for the care of the patients. This can be the reality check trying to learn how to prioritize your time and keep up with the work. Helping them to develop critical care thinking and at the same time showing compassion. It can be overwhelming for some, and they worry about when they will have to function alone. Helping them to learn their resources and who to go to for help. You can not take care of a critically ill patient alone you have to ask for help, sometimes loudly.
Other nurses can sometimes be less than patient. This is especially noticeable if we have to transfer a patient to another unit and I have the new nurse give report. What is it about nurses when we deal with each other during these transfers of patient care? Sometimes we become intimidating and are downright hateful! This same vibe can be there during shift change when we give report to the oncoming staff. Helping my new nurses through these landmines is all part of my job as their preceptor. Turning these negative moments into positives and seeing them develop into my peers...Priceless.

Dora Meulman

BODYPUMP

BODYPUMP is the world’s first class to combine high-repetition weight training with aerobic conditioning. Performed regularly, it will tone and condition your body, help you to lose weight and ultimately change your body shape, all in double-quick time. What are you waiting for? Sign up for a class, NOW! A complete balanced workouBODYPUMP is a 45 to 60 minute non-impact, resistance training programme that utilises barbells and adjustable weights. It is a studio-based group session led by highly skilled, motivating instructors who receive ongoing training to ensure every class is safe, effective and fun. After an initial all-body warm-up, all the major muscle groups are worked via a series of weight-bearing exercises including squats, presses, lifts and curls. The larger muscles of the legs, chest and back are worked first in that order. Followed by the smaller muscles of the arms, namely the biceps and triceps. The legs are worked a second time in the form of lunges followed by the shoulders before the abdominals are trained. The class finally finishes with a well-earned cool-down and stretch. Throughout the class the focus is on correct lifting technique and postural alignment, which may then be carried over into everyday activities. Using light to moderate weights and high repetitions, each muscle group is worked for about five minutes before overload is achieved. This type of endurance training is excellent for increasing lean body mass, improving muscle tone and definition but without causing bulking. So you won’t get big, just toned and strong. Stretching between tracks aids recovery while at the end of the session this helps to maintain and improve flexibility, promote good posture and help decrease the risk of injury. Who is it for? Everybody! BODYPUMP is deliberately pre-choreographed using simple moves so that it appeals to both men and women of all ages and fitness abilities... co-ordination is NOT a prerequisite! People of all fitness levels can enjoy the workout together and feel success because the self-regulated, adjustable weights mean you can control the intensity of your workout. You will find that the synergy of group training enables you to achieve a volume and intensity of work that would be difficult to replicate on an individual basis and exploring your physical limits becomes more attractive with the support of your peers. This type of endurance training is excellent for helping to increase lean body mass, improving muscle tone and definition but without causing bulking. The benefits of BODYPUMP BODYPUMP has been designed to make you stronger, get you in shape and help manage your weight by increasing your metabolism. The more muscle we have, the more calories we burn. BODYPUMP will help increase your lean body mass and ultimately improve your fat-burning ability. BODYPUMP can help improve your posture by emphasising controlled and balanced strength training, reinforcing ideal postural alignment that may then be carried over into daily activities. BODYPUMP helps promotes muscular endurance and, as a result, it can also help improve performance in many sports. BODYPUMP can help to increase your overall self-confidence as well as your general well-being but be warned...It will change the shape of your body.

BODYSTEP

BODYSTEP allows you to work at the intensity you want to without having to think too hard! With simple yet effective choreography combined with powerful, athletic moves, BODYSTEP is the ultimate step workout and possibly the world’s fastest way to tone butts and thighs. Step up the intensity not the complexity of your workout.

The traditional step class has been refreshed to create a high-energy, athletic, cardio blast, simple enough for men and women of all ages and fitness abilities to attend. You can control how hard you work by simply altering the height of your step and increasing or decreasing the range of your movements. Designed by some of the world’s leading instructors, selected movements combined with motivating music make BODYSTEP classes uplifting and memorable experiences rather than just another visit to the gym.

 

The Workout

Lasting 45 minutes to one hour, each BODYSTEP class is broken down into three phases. Phase one – the first four tracks are designed to raise the body’s temperature, increase the ease of movement and finishes with the first peak of activity. Using a variety of low impact moves and postural stretches to start, then incorporating changes in music speed, direction and range of movement, you become familiar with the character and intensity of the programme. Phase two – this concentrates firstly on building strength, followed by specific tracks increasing the intensity and demands on the cardiovascular system as the class progresses. The third and final phase – it starts with balance and conditioning work incorporating the upper body and back then moves on to abdominals, finishing your workout with a well-deserved cool-down and stretch safe in the knowledge that you have maximised your workout.

 

Step up to Fitness

Cardiovascular fitness training can be challenging. Many of us find that we avoid it and miss out on the amazing benefits of aerobic training. That is until now! BODYSTEP delivers what we all want from a challenging group fitness workout – maximum results in minimum time. This exhilarating pre-choreographed workout is designed to achieve goals. The structure of the workout provides a range of benefits associated with improved cardiovascular endurance, muscle strength and endurance, and flexibility. As a specific fitness programme, it allows excellent cross-training for recreational sports such as in-line skating, tennis, basketball and football. In addition to the cardiovascular benefits, BODYSTEP can help improve your fat burning capabilities, coordination, muscle strength, posture and agility.

1. BODYSTEP delivers inspiration to achieve results through the use of exciting and powerful music with inspirational instructors.
2. BODYSTEP has been designed to be an athletic, cardiovascular workout where the intensity can be self-regulated by adjusting the height of the step and the range of your movements on and around the step. .
3. BODYSTEP can help improve your body’s ability to burn fat and calories. The high intensity of the workout means there is a high rate of energy expenditure.
4. BODYSTEP can help improve muscle strength and endurance with specific conditioning tracks incorporated between bouts of aerobic activity.
5. BODYSTEP has been designed to help improve coordination and agility.
6. BODYSTEP emphasises correct posture which may then be carried through to everyday life.
7. BODYSTEP encourages regular participation in exercise. Described as "reflex with rhythm", it makes you feel great!

I have been teaching BODYSTEP for 10 plus years. I currently teach at the YMCA's in Gastonia NC. I credit BODYSTEP with keeping me lean and fit and saving my sanity by relieving me of the stress from my nursing job. My BODYSTEP peeps are my friends and I look forward to seeing their smiling faces in my classes every week. Drop in and see us sometime, you'll be glad you did.

You're a Nurse

Who are you? You’re a nurse. You spend countless days taking care of complete strangers. Some may be grateful while some not so grateful. You miss family events & are always late for supper. When there’s a snow day you get no off days. It simply means a slumber party at work. So if you know a nurse tell them thank you. You never know if they’ll take care of you one day!

My daughter Kerry posted this on my facebook wall. I want to share it with my nurse friends because all of the above is true  :)